It has been awhile since I updated on what is going on with us. My hubby and I got a job as houseparents at a residential group home last November and packed up the family and moved to San Antonio. We are houseparents to 10 girls right now ages 7-17. We have a 3 bedroom apartment that is attached to @ 5000 sq ft house with 8 bedrooms. We usually work 7 days on and 3 to 4 days off at a time. Some kids in our care are in state custody (CPS) and some are privately placed by family members who cannot take care of them.
It is hard sometimes because I grew up with having manners. Saying please and thank you, yes maam and no maam, holding the door for people and giving my seat up for someone older or frailer. I grew up learning about common courtesy and overall human kindness. A fellow staff member once used the phrase "These kids act like they were raised by wolves" and that isn't too far off target. Some of these kids are tough. They have been through more and seen more than most adults.
The thing I like about it is that none of these kids are hopeless. Yes, I get frustrated and sometimes I get my heart broken over and over again but I cannot imagine doing anything else at this point. Previously, we had two foster children ages 1 and 2 and we also have a bio son who is 3. That had its challenges but they are also so little and cute that you forgave them no matter what they did. The older kids are of course not as little nor nearly as cute and they do try your patience and sometimes, even your sanity. I had a girl who recently left my cottage who was a senior in high school. She was smart and beautiful and could have had tons of scholarships for track because she was so talented. The problem she had was that she didn't want anyone telling her what to do and she thought that rules and chores were "stupid". I tried and tried to get through to her but, when she turned 18, she signed herself out. My husband said that all you can do is try. I guess knowing that I tried my hardest will have to be enough. You can only give them the tools and point them in the right direction. You cannot make the journey for them.
So anyway, we are still on the foster to adopt list but it would have to be straight adopt as we cannot foster and do this job as well. The thing that sucks is that there are so many great kids up for adoption who live here on campus but their policy states we cannot adopt anyone from here. I guess they feel that it would create resentment amoung other residents.
Hope all is well with everyone and I hope you had a great Easter!
p.s. I still have my fostermomma.com website and have gotten a few hits since I moved down here trying to get people interested in fostering!
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