Back to school for everyone

So, since I have been unemployed since March and since Eli was going to start kindergarten this fall, I decided that I would go back to school as well and try to get a degree to teach. I figured since no one will hire me that I may as well learn something instead of laying around eating bons bons and watching my "stories". School is a lot different than it was (gulp) 20 years ago. Back then, if a teacher had an assignment, they would just hand you a form or write it on the chalkboard. Now everything is computerized. They have something called Blackboard where your teacher has the option of putting your assignments, grades and any learning tools on this website. The only problem is, they can basically put it anywhere on the website. It could be a main folder or a sub folder of another sub folder. And not all of them use the Blackboard either. Now they have something called a Math Lab where you do your homework for math. That particular teacher doesn't use Blackboard. She puts everything on the mathlab website. I feel so old!
I can now look back and realize that I have no memory of doing any actual work when I went to college the first time. I was a theater major and I did pretty well in those classes but, other than English, I tanked on the other classes that I took. Did I even go to some of the classes on my transcript? I pledge to do better this time around. My attention span isn't that great but I am fortunate that the majority of my professors are pretty engaging and not boring or anything.
Eli has started Kindergarten and it has been an adjustment. Socially, he isn't exactly up there with his peers. I mean, he spent the last year and a half being raised with a bunch of inreverant teenaged girls! He does love school and freaks out if he thinks that he isn't going to be able to go and he loves loves loves riding the school bus. He did get into trouble the other day because it was storming and the teacher was trying to calm all of the kids now and my son was happily talking about tornados. What can I say? He is obsessed with weather. He wasn't scared or anything. He just likes talking about tornados. Of course, in his short lifetime, he really hasn't been around too many storms so, given an actual tornado warning, his excitement might turn to fear.
Anyway, that is what is going on right now. Charles has an interview today for a better job so please keep him in your prayers about that. I have an essay due next week and still don't have a topic so please pray about that. And please pray that Eli does his best in school and that he doesn't drive his teacher insane! Prayers are also needed for my sister who has been having some health problems.
As for fostering, we are still waiting for the agency to get our old file from Houston. I have been too busy lately to really bug them too much about it but I know that it will happen.
That's all for now but things change from day to day so tune in tomorrow folks!

TTFN

We are on our way!!!!!

So we have finished our foster training and are waiting to take care of some last minute things before we do our homestudy. Charles has decided to get his teaching certification and become a teacher. This will help him with his mission to help kids. We are hoping to have a placement by maybe the end of the summer. It is just amazing to me how God can work in your life even when you think that he has given up on you.
I have this theory. Some call it "the secret". It is basically where you visualize things happening and they actually happen. I am not trying to get all hippie on you or anything but sometimes being relentless will get results. It's not being a pollyanna or anything like that. It is basically hope and faith that get me through any situation. If something bad happens, I cry. I rant. I shake my fist and say "why me?" But then I get up, take a deep breath, and soldier on. God has worked wonders in my life. He has introduced me to some amazing people. He brought me my husband and my wonderful son. He provided a roof over my head and food (sometimes too much) in my belly. With each failure came a new opportunity to succeed.
I can see Charles teaching. I can see Eli starting kindergarten in the fall. And I can see us taking in children for years to come and, hopefully, that faith may rub off on them a little.
Stay tuned, dear readers....the adventure has just begun!

ttfn
The Fostermomma

A Joyous Reunion!!!!

After not seeing them for a little over a year, our former foster children, Sugars and Dab Dab were reunited with us for a short visit this week. Their grandmother, who has custody of them, was kind enough to let us see them. We met at a hotel we were staying in and were waiting in the hallway when they came out of the elevator. They both got off the elevator and saw me and Charles standing there. We weren't sure if they would remember us or hide behind their grandma. They froze for a few seconds and, while they didn't race into our arms as expected, they calmly and softly walked up to us and raised their little arms for our embrace. I being the total sap that I am immediately began to cry. Within a few moments, it was almost back to old times. Sugars and Dab Dab, along with Eli, decided to singlehandedly dismantle what started out as a somewhat clean and put together room. You couldn't hear yourself talk with all of the laughing and yelling but it was probably the greatest sound I have heard in a year. After awhile, we took the kids to McDonalds while grandma went grocery shopping. I forgot how hard it was to keep up with three little ones scattering in every direction. I think that was actually the reason we stopped going to Micky D's when we had them=)
So we ordered the McNugget Happy Meals and got the requested toys that they all picked out. After a few bites of food it was off to the play area. Dab Dab busied himself with taking his toy, which was ball shapped, to the top of the play area and dropping it down the slide. Great idea if you have the slide all to yourself but he kept getting ticked off if someone grabbed the ball before he got down there.
Sugars, even though she went up the play area several times, decided to get "stuck" at the top and started crying for "Daddy" to come up and rescue her. Charles climbed up there the first time and got her down and decided to take the slide down. I do wish, dear readers, that my snazzy camera had video because it was a sight to behold. The second time, I tried to send Dab Dab and Eli up to rescue her and she shooed them away and demanded that Charles come back up and rescue her. She is only 2 but she already knows how to bend men to her will.
We met Grandma back at the hotel in the parking lot and said our goodbyes for the evening with the promise of a quick visit the next day. Before they left, we gave them their presents that we have had for them since last Christmas. I swear that Dab Dab wanted to set up his new t-ball set right there! Sugars loved her Cabbage Patch "baby" that looked just like her.
The next morning grandma had to work so the babysitter met us for a little bit in the hotel lobby. We played and I took pictures. It wasn't easy because Sugars and Dab Dab never liked to sit still. Eli, on the other hand is always camera ready and starts saying "Cheese" as soon as he sees a camera. We ran up and down the halls and gave piggy back rides and shoulder rides and then raided the lounge for snacks which consisted of apples (cut with love with a dull plastic knife), stale fruit loops and little cups of water. It was fun and crazy and magical. Then it was time to say goodbye. Sugars said that she didn't want to leave and I told her that we would come back and visit at some point and she seemed to be okay with that. We put her in the car in her car seat and she gave me some "sugars". Dab Dab on the other had, remembered that last year when he said goodbye he didn't see us for a very long time. He grabbed onto Charles neck and would not let go. He started screaming and crying and we pratically had to force him into the car. He is only three and doesn't understand the circumstances to which he and his sister came into our lives. All he knew was that at one time, we were a family and then one day we weren't. Even though I am a big advocate for fostering, that is definately one of the downsides. It is hard enough to explain things to children who are old enough to understand these things, let alone to children who don't. All we can do is keep trying and to let them know that we love them and will always remember them.
We would like to thank their grandmother for taking such good care of them and also for finding it in her heart to let us remain a part of their lives. I know that the time that they were away from her was a dark time but she has managed to look past that and keep us updated on how they have been. She has also graciously allowed us ot post their pictures for all to see since they are no longer in care.
The picture above is Charles, Eli and myself as well as Sugars and Dab Dab...also known as Gavin and Ryleigh.
TTFN

World Domination

So I have been saying for awhile that I need to write this stuff down so that I can remember it years from now (or at least by 12/21/12 since apparently the world will end on that day). The girls that I care for look perfectly ordinary on the outside. I have every color of the rainbow in my cottage.....I have black, hispanic, white, half hispanic and even a Hawaiian thrown in for good messure. They are all in their own way unique and beautiful and think they know everything and have all of the answers...basically your typical American teenager.
But underneath all that lies a genious that us mere mortals can only hope to achieve. Here are a few examples:
Three girls were practicing dancing on the back porch of our cottage. No, I am not talking about tap dancing or ballet. I am talking about the kind of dancing you get paid for. They were using mop handles as poles! Oh, and by the way, they were 7 and 10 years old at the time!
They have snuck into an neighboring cottage and grabbed a cordless phone handset that is compatable with the phone we have in our cottage. Then they just plugged it into their room and used it in the middle of the night.
They cut the screens on the windows either from their rooms or in the hallways to sneak out at night. This makes no sense because since we have our own apartment and sleep in there at night, they could have just walked out the door but let's try to destroy some property while we are at it.
Someone from another cottage had a PSP. Those can hook up to the internet so the boys decided to stand next to a houseparents apartment and hook into their wireless internet service so that they could surf porn!
Since access to myspace is blocked at the library, the kids have figured out that if you go to another website that has a link to myspace, that they can get on that way. One of the sites they chose???? An abstinance website called www.whyshouldiwait.com
Two of my girls left the school campus at lunch and went to a store across the street. When confronted with this, the girls admitted it but also informed us that they didn't jaywalk and that when they did skip and leave campus, they were safe and used the crosswalk!!!
And finally, my fave:
Last night one of the girls was on restriction for sneaking out of the house. She was not permitted to use the phone. So she stole a cordless phone from another cottage (a different one from last time) and switched out with one of the phones from our cottage. The problem with this was that the two phones, while being the same brand, looked entirely different. As soon as I discovered that the phone was missing, I hit the locator button on the base unit and the sound led me to the perpetrators room.(Okay, they aren't ALL geniouses but you have to give her credit for originality).
Since taking this job I have learned a very important lesson about myself....I have too kind of a heart and am entirely too trusting of these kids. Do we get along? yes, most of the time we do. We joke and they confide in me(to a point) but the fact of the matter is they are all sisters brought together by bad circumstances and in the end, they will stick together. This is one of those situations where blind trust is not an option. All of them at one point or the other has given me a reason not to trust them.
I guess I am an eternal optimist but am getting a little more cynical every day. But I still see good in these girls (even the most sneaky ones) so that is no reason to give up on them. Besides, it makes for interesting reading, doesn't it?
Oh well, 14 hours until I go off duty and can have a stiff drink and wonder....What will they think of next?
Stay tuned and, until then, TTFN

Onward and forward.....

Hello readers! Long time no blog. Things have been crazy busy here but I am determined to write when I can since it can be a great outlet for me.
At this time I have 10 girls ranging in age from 10 to 17 years old. One of my girls is out of town visiting relatives. Two will turn 18 next month and leave the nest. This particular post is about those two girls.
To protect their privacy, I will call them Dena and Sam. Dena is what you would call a "spitfire". She doesn't give you very much rope to hang yourself with. She can be combative and petulant but can also be very sweet when she chooses to be. She came from a foster home where the rules were very lenient and has had a hard time adjusting to a house with actual rules (though I don't really believe our rules are that bad around here). When she turns 18, she wants to move into something called "transitional living" where she will have a small apartment on campus and will be able to adjust to living on her own. There will be no one there to make her do her chores or to get up in the morning. There will also be no one there to cook her meals or keep her company when she gets bored.
Sam just kind of likes to "ride the wave" so to speak. She reads constantly and is perfectly happy spending the entire day in her room either sleeping or reading a book. When she turns 18 next month, she will move in with a relative and hopefully will start attending college. Again, there will be no one there to get her to get up in the morning, make her take a shower and be presentable, no one there to make her not read one of her books in church(don't ask...it has happened).
The fact that I have very little time left with these two does not mean that I will give up on them. They don't understand that the lessons we try to teach them are to prepare them for later in life and not just so we will have something to do. We want them to help in the kitchen so that when they get out on their own they don't just have to exist on Romman noodles or toast. We nag them to get up in the morning so that when they are out on their own, they aren't late for class or school.
My main goal right now is to teach them three things, the first being manners. Yes maam and no maam, please and thank you, excuse me, all of these things are important things to learn in polite society. I also want them to consistantly do their chores and do them well. There are 10 of them and the chores are split up so it really isn't too much on anyone particular person. The third things is to stop tearing each other down so much. They can be very cruel to each other. I want to teach them kindness and empathy. Some of these kids have been through so much that they really have lost the ability to feel sorry for anyone but themselves.
Well, folks. That is about it for now. I hope that the next post I have will be more like my old self and a little more witty. I am a little beaten down right now but I will prevail.
TTFN

Latest update on Easter Sunday

It has been awhile since I updated on what is going on with us. My hubby and I got a job as houseparents at a residential group home last November and packed up the family and moved to San Antonio. We are houseparents to 10 girls right now ages 7-17. We have a 3 bedroom apartment that is attached to @ 5000 sq ft house with 8 bedrooms. We usually work 7 days on and 3 to 4 days off at a time. Some kids in our care are in state custody (CPS) and some are privately placed by family members who cannot take care of them.
It is hard sometimes because I grew up with having manners. Saying please and thank you, yes maam and no maam, holding the door for people and giving my seat up for someone older or frailer. I grew up learning about common courtesy and overall human kindness. A fellow staff member once used the phrase "These kids act like they were raised by wolves" and that isn't too far off target. Some of these kids are tough. They have been through more and seen more than most adults.
The thing I like about it is that none of these kids are hopeless. Yes, I get frustrated and sometimes I get my heart broken over and over again but I cannot imagine doing anything else at this point. Previously, we had two foster children ages 1 and 2 and we also have a bio son who is 3. That had its challenges but they are also so little and cute that you forgave them no matter what they did. The older kids are of course not as little nor nearly as cute and they do try your patience and sometimes, even your sanity. I had a girl who recently left my cottage who was a senior in high school. She was smart and beautiful and could have had tons of scholarships for track because she was so talented. The problem she had was that she didn't want anyone telling her what to do and she thought that rules and chores were "stupid". I tried and tried to get through to her but, when she turned 18, she signed herself out. My husband said that all you can do is try. I guess knowing that I tried my hardest will have to be enough. You can only give them the tools and point them in the right direction. You cannot make the journey for them.
So anyway, we are still on the foster to adopt list but it would have to be straight adopt as we cannot foster and do this job as well. The thing that sucks is that there are so many great kids up for adoption who live here on campus but their policy states we cannot adopt anyone from here. I guess they feel that it would create resentment amoung other residents.
Hope all is well with everyone and I hope you had a great Easter!

p.s. I still have my fostermomma.com website and have gotten a few hits since I moved down here trying to get people interested in fostering!

A Whole New Adventure

So we went from being parents of three to parents of one in one horrible day. We missed our Sugars and Dab Dab and poured all of our love on our Bunny. Now, God has taken us in a new direction and it is certainly an adventure!
We are houseparents in a group home to nine, yes, I said nine, girls ages 9-17. They, along with our Bunny, make up our home at this time.
Some people ask me how I can take on such a challenge and still maintain my sanity. Well, there is one thing that drove me crazy when I first started this but, once I accepted it as fact, I am now much calmer. That fact is this....TEENAGERS WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING!!!! Yes, if you were to get them a flashy, brand new blue car, they would complain that they wanted a red one. We have a huge house and there are nine girls. Each girl has a chore in one part of the house. You would think that we are asking them for one of their kidneys when we ask them to do their chores. On the other hand, they have forced me to live outside my bubble and embrace new cultures and, more importantly, music. Some of the music these teens listen to these days (gee, did I just sound like my grandma?), is just downright hysterical. I like to listen to country music and it usually has a story to tell. I think that the whole point of their music is to get it to rhyme. Don't get me wrong, it does have a good beat and you can definately dance to it. But some of the lyrics are downright skanky. It kind of reminds me of when I was a kid and I would be watching tv with my parents and a love scene would come on and it would be totally uncomfortable. It's the same thing when one of those "songs" comes on. I don't really think that it is appropriate for a 9 year old to be singing about wanting to "make love all night long". Yes, I realize that she probably doesn't know what she is singing about but it is the principle of the thing. This is just one of the numerous challenges and adventures that we can expect. How do you let them be kids and embrace their individuality but still protect them from the bad stuff? Do you trust them that they will do the right thing or police them at every turn? These are beautiful, talented young ladies and it is our job to help them to be all that they can be. It is a little overwhelming but if we can handle three toddlers at one time I am sure we can handle this.

Stay tuned!
TTFN
The Fostermomma