Don't make him angry....

So we went to a Fall Festival at our church this past Friday. Children got to dress up in their costumes and go trick or treating all throught the church. There was face painting and carnival games and all sorts of stuff to keep them busy. Eli was dressed as the incredible hulk. Incredible for sure since he only weighs about 26 pounds. He had to take a quick powernap before the festivities.
When we arrived, he woke up and was ready to party! I ditched the stroller and let him walk for awhile. He was easily distracted. He had little slippers with witches on them and the witch heads would bobble whenever he would walk so he had to stop and stare at them for awhile until he discovered they were not bobbing anymore. This went on for awhile. He liked the cake walk music but was getting a little annoyed when they kept stopping it. He really likes to jam.
He was facinated by the puppet show for about a minute and then got bored so he started growling at me. I'm just glad he didn't start turning green like the hulk.
He enjoyed playing peek-a-boo with his daddy, who was dressed as a train conductor. All in all, he had a great time. I had a great time too but finally realized how exhuasting it will be to keep up with him. He is a maniac right now. He is into everything and loves to crawl on everything. He goes at everything full force whether it can hurt him or not. He is just having too much fun to really care. Can I get some bubble wrap or something?
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tipping...

It is a tradition as old as time....okay, maybe not as old as time but it's bean around awhile. I am talking about tipping. You go into a restaurant and you generally tip the waiter or waitress accordingly. They only make around $2.00 and hour so tipping helps make up their salary. However, the other day I went into the dounut shop and there was a tip jar there. What am I tipping them for exactly? Am I tipping them for having to turn around and grab a dounut and then painstakingly put it in a bag? Or am I tipping because they may have to make change when I pay them? When did tipping start to be expected for counter service? It's not like they gave me a dounut and then gave me a pedicure. The same thing happened at Quizno's as well. What is going on? I am not trying to sound like a cheapskate but there is a reason people choose to do fast food and not sit down dining and the majority of the time it is either because it is cheaper or faster or both. I usually give just a little tip at Sonic because they have to bring the food out to my car and sometimes, they even come out on rollerskates!. (Is it wrong that I wait with baited breath for one of them to bust it or fall off of the curb?) Anyway, the situation is out of hand. It puts me in a situation where, if I don't tip, I am the bad guy. I hate being the bad guy. I want to be good and for everyone to like me. It's pathetic. Like my whole self image is wrapped up in whether or not the freakin' donut person likes me! I know I need help but the tip jars have got to go!
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Busy Saturday

So I left Charles at home and took Eli to this little fall festival at this place called Storybook Ranch. They had hayrides that would take you back to this old western town. It was pretty cool. In the saloon they had this old fashioned soda fountain where you could get shakes and pumkin ice cream. It would have been great except they had only one poor girl working the counter. It would take about 3 minutes for every shake and if you have ever frozen homemade ice cream, you know how hard it is to scoop. They had a woman with one of those spindle thingys weaving stuff. They had these cowboys do this fake gun fight. They had this caricature artist named Doc. Bless his heart, he was a very good artist except everyone he drew had the the same face and just different hair. I couldn't really enjoy too much of the festivities because being the genius I am I left the stroller in the car and allowed Eli to walk half the time. At one point, I caught him trying to eat rocks! Hold on there son. I'll get you some dip.
After that, we went to the Texas State Fair. It was crowded and a total pain in the butt but I think we enjoyed ourselves. We had free tickets to get in from my company but it costs us $10 to park. As we were going into the fair, this guy was leaving and asked us if we wanted his remaining coupons he had left. We thanked him and on closer inspection, discovered he had given us about $12 worth of coupons. What a nice guy!.
What is with the whole coupon thing, anyway. You have to go to a booth and buy coupons and you use them for rides and food. I am assuming they just don't trust carnies with cash.
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Friggin people!

So I finally stepped out of the box and went out on a Friday night which I have not done in forever. I was going to meet some ladies and a paint your own pottery place in Richardson. I tractor trailer almost cut off the back end of my CR-V. I guess he didn's see me before he changed lanes but he was so close I was going to have him examine my colon while he was back there. People drive like idiots on Friday nights! What is with that? Are they in such a hurry that they would risk killing themselves and others to get where they are going? Wise up people and quit driving like assholes. You are making me crazy!
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A Busted Illusion and Dreaming of Geckos

So it finally happened. After working together for almost 7 years I finally burped in front of my boss. It was a total accident. It was one of those your just minding your own business and out it comes unexpectedly burps. I was mortified. It's not that I think he believes I don't do anything gross like pass gas or poop but this opened the door to him actually having to think about it at all. It's kind of like the first time you cuss in front of your parents or pass gas in front of your mate. There is no going back now. But rest assured, if I do accidentally pass gas in front of him, I'm out of there. There are just some things you don't recover from.
On a totally unrelated note, I had a dream last night about the Geico gecko. I have no idea what it was about or anything but I do remember that cute little cockney accent of his. I just love his commercials.
So the crack pot is back at Lifetime. She finally came back but I don't think she is in our class anymore. It was weird. She had the workout sheet but she got on a row of treadmills directly in front of us and sort of did her own thing. She didn't use the weights or the resistance bands and completely ignored the trainer. She didn't make one peep or anything. So I had to think of other ways that she annoyed me. The main one was that she was sweating like crazy but refused to take her warmup jacket off. She had it on the whole time and she had to be burning up. I am so over her. If you aren't going to participate in the group, honey, take your butt to some treadmills on the other side of the club. I am over you.
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Heart attack waiting to happen....

So what is it with infant/toddlers, anyway. Out of every single item in our house, he gravitates towards things that could hurt or kill him. Yesterday we caught him trying to lick an electrical outlet. Luckily, we had outlet protectors on but still. He will bypass his goldfish crackers and go straight for a penny we didn't see lying on the floor. He has over $100 worth of toys but he would like to climb the stairs whether someone is there to catch him or not. There are all sorts of things to keep him occupied but he would rather lean against the oven door while I am baking something. He has tons of stuffed animals but he would rather amuse himself by pulling the dogs ears and terrorizing her. Imagine all of the people on earth and then think to yourself that they were once all little and faced all sorts of dangers. It's a wonder anyone lives long enough to grow up. I would like to write more but I am exhausted from guard duty. More to come later.
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the hunt was on....

So I started looking for Eli a costume for Halloween. It's tough because you never know if it will be cold or warm at the end of October. Last year I got him a little warm up suit with a skeleton on it and he almost had heat stroke.
Anyway, I went to this random place in Plano called Cow Costumes. It was one of those places that someone sets up only during Halloween with a big inflatable Godzilla in front. What Godzilla has to do with Halloween, I don't know but it does grab one's attention.
So I go inside and I find a Yoda costume for Eli. I imagine with the way he walks right now, he would look darn cute in it. But the hope that maybe I would find something even cuter and the other two fly by night costume places I have seen stops me. So on I go without Yoda. The next place I go to is cool but doesn't have anything that I find cuter than Yoda. So I go to this place called Spirit Halloween. It has always had tons of costumes in the past so I figure it would have some cool stuff. It turns out it is set up in this old furniture store and the parking sucks. It takes me 10 minutes to find a space and it turns out to be right next to a girl who is sitting there in her car with her kids smoking a cigarette. I guess she is waiting for someone but Eli and I have the privelidge to inhale her second hand smoke while I get him out of the car and into a stroller. Good times.
We get inside and the only good thing I can say about it is that they had Halloween character pijamas for $5 each. The rest had been picked through or they didnt have much in stock. I was totally disappointed. So I went across the street to Party City and decided on a superman costume for Eli. He needed something that either had a hood or didn't require anything on his head because he will not wear a hat. Superman seemed like a logical choice and was in my price range. Well, apparently party city decided to only have two cashiers working on a Saturday night. I have twenty people up my butt asking me if I needed them to get a costume for me from the back but when it came to someone actually taking my money for it, they were nowhere to be found. I waited and finally put the costume back and left in disgust. Moral of the story, buy online. I didn't have anyone ignore me or try to cut in line or anything when I was sitting at my computer and Eli will look just as cute in the Hulk costume I bought him online as he would have in anything I bought him at the store. Next year, Eli will want to choose his costume and I may be stuck driving all over town or worse, Gulp, having to make something!
Now, if we can only do something about the weather and insure it will be not too warm and not too cool, we would be all set.
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the crazy woman at the gym and Eli's escape attempt

So I had to leave my workout class early on Monday because of a blinding headache from my sinus infection. I got weighed in and I had lost 2 lbs in the three weeks I had been in the class. Not too bad. Well, apparently after I left, the crazy woman in my class got weighed in and she had gained 1 pound. Now let me preface this by saying that she works out 5 days a week so she has probably gained some muscle in what she may have lost in fat. So this is not necessarily a bad thing. But apparently she went postal on our poor personal trainer, Seth. She started ranting and raving about how he is too pushy and she hates pushy people. Uh, does she not know the job description of a personal trainer? Psycho. So I left early and I apparently missed a good show. Oh well.
Today, right after my class, I got paged to come to the child center. I figured Eli was fussing because he has an ear infection but it turned out he only had a poopy diaper(Lifetime Fitness will watch your kid but I guess they draw the line in dealing with poop). So I changed him and we got ready to go. They told me he is ready to move from the baby room to the toddler area. So I decided to let him practice his walking by letting him walk from the childcare center to the front door of the club. We had taken no more than two steps outside of the childcare center when he took off in the opposite direction. What hurt the most was that, as he was toddling away, he was blowing kissed in my direction like "See ya later, sucka!"
I am definately going to have to be in shape to keep up with this kid.
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On the road to recovery...

So I finally got my sniffer and my taste buds back. It wasn't fun to be hungry and not be able to taste anything. On the plus side though, I did loose 4 lbs since last week. My head is still a little stuffy and my sinuses are still bothering me a bit but I no longer feel like I want to die. Thanks for those of you who gave me advice and wished me well. As for the rest of you, and you know who you are, thanks for the love! Just kidding.
So I have a friend who writes a blog. Her name is randommommy. She is actually the one who turned me on to the blog idea in the first place. She is totally cool. She writes things in her blog that some of us may think but would never actually say out loud for anyone to hear. It's refreshing but it sets the bar pretty high. I obviously cannot write about me and my husbands sex life (or, as he puts it, lack there of) or anything remotely sexual in nature. My family totally reads this on a regular basis. This can be a block if I am trying to think of something to write. So I have to choose other material. So instead of writing about my sexual experiences and stuff like that, my only choice is to write either about my husband, son, or what freaks people are. So props out to you, randommommy. I'm your biggest fan. Stay cool and keep giving me something to read at work while I am supposed to be working.
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My punkin at the pumpkin farm

It was a beautiful day. We went to a place called the Big Orange Pumpkin Farm. It was located at Bill Bates Cowbory Ranch in Celina. Way out in the boondocks. We went in and paid and they give you a coupon for a hot dog and a cup of animal food for you to feed the goats, lambs and cows. They were total pigs. Some of them would try to snatch the cup right out of your hand. Eli touched one of the goats but that is about it. When Charles put him down on the ground, he fell over and as he was getting up, he grabbed a handful of pebbles and tried to eat them. What is it about kids wanting to eat things that can make them sick or kill them? I tried to get him to eat lunch and he wouldn't touch it but give him a bunch of rocks and it is on!
Anyway, we stopped for some photo-ops with some hay and pumpkins and then headed out to the pumpkin patch. He loved walking around and when we tried to help him when he stumbled, he would become independent on us.
We got on the hayride and went around the farm. Along the way, there were signs that told the story of a missing hay farmer. He had been missing all year. They were asking if anyone saw him, could they please let his wife know where he is. SPOILER ALERT: Toward the end of the ride, there was a large round thing of hay that had what looked like the bottom half of a man sticking out of it. It was cute.
So after we were done with that, we went and picked out a little pumpkin for Eli and stopped for one more picture. We got a good one of Eli and then I decided that we needed to get our picture taken together. It was up on top of this wagon with no steps to get up. I asked this guy if he would take our picture and then proceeded to try to get up by myself. Charles tried to help me and I almost busted it. It was embarrassing. My heart had the will to get up there but apparently my butt did not. The guy taking the pic had to help me.
So the trip was a lot better than last year. Last year Eli started crying and wouldn't cooperate for any pics. This year he was a whole lot better. He won't remember it but his daddy and I will. It was a good day.
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Whatever.....

Day nine and I still don't feel good. This crud has now settled in my chest. I don't know if it's a cold or if it's allergies. I'm not sneezing or anything. No matter what I take, nothing works. The only time I can actually breathe through my nose is when I am on the treadmill during my workout. Please tell me I don't have to stay on it to feel good. You know what else sucks? I can't taste anything but I still get hungry. So I can eat but I can't enjoy anything. I am officially in hell.
Meanwhile, at Lifetime Fitness.....
J. didn't show up for class on Wednesday. I had called the head trainer to complain about her and I thought I had succeeded in getting her kicked out. But, alas, I am not that powerful. She just missed a day. She should be back today and they are going to talk to her about interupting all of the time and spouting her nonsense.
I would hate to have to kick her butt in my weakened condition.
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On a darker note...

What the hell is wrong with people? We've got pedophiles in congress, people shooting at the Amish, and husbands out cheating on their wives. I watched "Hotel Rowanda" and almost couldn't finish watching it because it was just so hard to believe that people can be that mean and hateful to other people. I have spent the majority of my life trying to believe the best in people but sometimes, my faith is shaken. People do horrible things and then blame it either on alcohol abuse or a tortured childhood. I am sure that those two things do not help when you are trying to become a well adjusted person but people have to take responsiblity at some point for their own lives.
Everything that glitters isn't necessarily gold. I think everyone tries to put on a good front to make it look like their lives are peachy. I have never learned to be mysterious and private. I pretty much share just about everything that is going on in my life. Others, however, do not. That is why it always comes as a surprise when a seemingly happy couple falls apart due to infidelity or whatever. I know its hard to share problems with others sometimes because people can be judgemental. I don't like it when someone tells me what I should do with my life so I don't usually give advice unless I am asked. I would love to tell women that if their spouse cheats on them, kick them to the curb. However, being on the outside looking in, it's easy for me to say. Each person has to look inside themselves and make up their own mind. Do you stay together for convenience and hope he never does it again or do you cut and run? There isn't only anger to deal with but there is also hurt and maybe a little longing to just forget about it. Tough stuff for sure.
As for Foley, who was caught sending inappropriate emails to young boys and now blames it on alcohol and being molested when he was younger, get over yourself! It's really sad that you were molested when you were younger(if that's true) but it's no excuse. The chain has to be broken. He has a problem and he needs to deal with it and take responsibility for his actions.
I'm not sure where I am going with any of this but I needed to vent.
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Greatest Dad

I usually don't get mushy but I just have to say that I have the greatest husband ever. He doesn't blow off his parenting responsibilities like I have heard other women complain about. He occasionally watches Eli while I go to bunco or book club. When I met Charles I knew he was a great guy but, more importantly, I knew he would be a great dad. He didn't have the best childhood himself but he is making sure that Eli always knows that he loves him. To see the look of love he has on his face sometimes takes my breath away. I hope that any women who read this and are single and are looking for a mate take this into account. It's great if the guy you like is good looking or has a lot of money but the most important thing to look for is patience and kindness. The guys who have that make the best husbands and fathers.
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The workout

So I have been doing this workout at a local health club. This workout is a group effort and you actually have to pay on top of your monthly membership dues. So there is some investment that you are making and you dont want anything to throw you off or distract you from your true purpose. That purpose would be to get rid of this disgusting butt and bulging tummy and get in some sort of shape. Well, the class started out with just 4 women. Two of them were really cool. Then there was this other woman. To protect the guilty, we will call her J. She is awful. She started out talking the first day and has not shut up since. This is coming from me, a perpetual talker. Her boyfriend is a trainer there and she thinks she knows everything about everything. She knows everything about fitness and nutrition and working out. This is rather strange since she is not what you would call a small woman. She constantly tries to wow our trainer with her knowledge. Bless his heart. He tries to be patient and go along with her but I can see he is irritated too. If I was running the class I would have snapped her with my sweat towel a long time ago. Picture this: we are on an 8 to 10% incline going at a 3.0 speed. We have been doing this for two minutes and he is getting ready to tell us to drop our incline and our speed. Right as he is about to say something, J. interupts and starts talking about how your fat leaves your body by way of your urine. She knows this for a fact because she heard about it on Dr. Phil. I wonder how much knowledge she can spout with my foot up her ass? I am over it. The thing that gets me is that I am actually paying to be this annoyed. She has got to go. I will figure out a way. Either she goes or I want my friggin money back. i can get this annoyed at work and they actually pay ME.
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Sugar high...

we had a great weekend. Eli wasn't teething and he is walking all over the place now. yes, i can safely say that this weekend, we were the typical American nuclear family. Then, last night, i got the bright idea to give my son a small slice of chocolate cake. he loved it. he licked almost every last piece he could find on his hands. then i cleaned him off and got him out of the highchair. then, he went mad. he started screaching and laughing and pacing back and forth. the pacing was a little un-nerving because he just learned to walk so he was walking in the little frankenstein way that new walkers like to walk. he was a maniac. he had cake before at his birthday party and he didnt have this kind of rush. it must have been the cake. it came from market street and i think it was double chocolate or something. i only gave him a little bitty slice but i packed a heck of a punch. lessoned learned.
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