June 9, 2008
Love at first sight?......Not really!
The kids were cute. No doubt about that. They both had beautiful blue eyes and Sugars looked just like a Cabbage Patch doll. I was so excited to have these two new additions to our family. We got them on a Friday evening and then decided to take them to the pumpkin patch the next day. That is when reality set in. I did not have a double stroller at the time so we just put Sugars in the single stroller and let Dab Dab walk along with Bunny. It was a nightmare! Bunny went one way and Dab Dab went the other. Charles chased down one kid and I tried to chase down the other while dragging the stroller through dirt and gravel. Keeping up with three is a lot different than keeping up with one.
I soon realized that I will be 15 minutes late for everything! I went from having a laundry "day" to laundry "days". My car is covered in pop tart. My house looks like ToysRUs exploded. I have three big ride on toys that the kids love to drive around the island whenever I cook. There were days at the beginning where I wanted to rip my hair out.
One day, after I realized that I was going to be late for work for the 15th time that month, I finally decided that I just couldn't do it anymore. The boys were trying to see who could bite each other the hardest and Sugars had just dumped her bottle out on her lap. I decided that after work, I would call CPS and tell them that this was just too much for me. Then a strange thing happened. I went to get the kids out of the car and Dab Dab and Sugars were looking at me with their heads together when I opened the door. They were grinning and holding their arms out for me to pick them up. Something inside me just melted. Suddenly, I went from just being their full time caretaker to actually being their "mother". Yes, I know I am not their mother. I did not give birth to them. They actually have a mother who loves them very much. But I had finally made that connection.
I realized that it wasn't about me. It was about the kids. They needed me, and, I realized that I needed them too. Someday, they will go back to their other family. My heart will break. But I will comfort myself knowing that I helped them in a monumental way and hopefully, they will be better for it and remember me.
TTFN
2 comments:
Well The other's were funny and cute but this one made me cry. I never knew that you thought about giving them back. I'm so happy they are with you and lord only know's you have your hand's full but not only you were blessed we were to because we know you and charles love's them and they love you. That it's self is a blessing!!!
Thank god you did't give tme back to cps. no telling where they would have ended up. thanks for not giving up. that decision will bless you for many years to come
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